Dear Death

I know you don’t think of me but I think of you often. The thought of you wraps itself around my brain like a thick black noose. Constricting my thoughts of anything else, you tighten your grip on me. 

I know you don’t think of me but you consume me. I obsess over you like a scorned lover. I wonder where you are, what you look like, who you are with. 

I know you don’t think of me but we were close to meeting once. I knocked on your door but you didn’t answer. Thank goodness you didn’t answer. I turned away and found a path back to life. 

I know you don’t think of me but you control me. You see all the cards and know how to play them. It’s always your move. You know when it’ll happen and how, for that I am at your mercy. 

I know you don’t think of me but your hold chokes me. I struggle to breathe because I don’t know what’s to come. My chest feels heavy and all I see is the world spinning and I’m not in it. Where I am, only you know.